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Family Relations Questions and Wedding Etiquette
My future husbands’ ex-wife is threatening to come to our wedding, and, of course, was not invited. I am so worried she is going to make a big scene. What can I do?
Keep in mind that threats of this type are often just that – threats. If you feel that this is truly an issue to be acted upon, hiring a security guard to keep her from entering the premises might be the best place to start. Additionally, inform the manager of your venue of the possibility of her surprise and unwanted attendance.
Your fiancé could also obtain a restraining order. This may not keep her away, but it will give the manager the right to call the police, if necessary. Taking these precautions will hopefully ensure that, should the situation occur, it will be handled quietly and discreetly.
My fiancé and I are having a hard time deciding if we should include children on our special day. We LOVE all of our nieces and nephews and family friends, but we are hoping to keep our guest list to fewer than 150 and with kids that will be impossible. We would also like our friends to be able to celebrate with us without having to worry about getting home for bath and bedtime. Is it ok to ask our guests to find a sitter for the night?
The simple answer to this question is yes! Absolutely. This is your day and your friends should respect however you would like it to go without being personally offended by any of the decisions you make. Having said that, some of your friends will be offended and upset by you not including their pride and joy on your day. If it is important for you to have children at your wedding, then by all means they should be there.
However, it is perfectly acceptable for a wedding to be a kid-free event, and most of your friends will completely understand this. Just be sure to put the wording “adult only” somewhere on the invite or save the date and give everyone plenty of notice to find a sitter. Some of your guests will still ask and you can smooth things over by telling them how much you would love their child to be there, but really can’t afford to say yes to all of your friends who have children.
If you have quite a few friends or out of town guests who are having a hard time finding a sitter, you could always hire a sitter for the wedding and have one specific house or location where guests can drop off children. Some venues will even have a separate room where you can have a sitter, which makes it very convenient for everyone. Just keep in mind, at the end of the day you can’t make everyone happy, and you just have to do the best you can and remember this day is about YOU TWO!